Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Convalidation Frustration

I'm not sure exactly what month I started this process, I think it was October. We were hoping to have our marriage convalidated on our civil anniversary, but I never heard back from the church secretary about my dispensation to marry outside of the church, so I figured it hadn't gone through yet. Then the holidays happened, and once those were over she was on vacation, and I finally got ahold of her yesterday.

She told me I needed to come in to sign some papers, have some other people fill out some other papers about us, and that she'd call me back after talking to Father about a date. She also asked me a million questions that I had already discussed with her on numerous occasions.

So, then she calls me back today and exclaims, "Well, Kyle isn't baptized!!" Lady, I know that, and I've told you that on numerous occasions. She said we needed to wait until he was baptized. I said, "Uh, no, that's why we filed the dispensation." She was like, "You would've needed that regardless." Me, "........."

So, I explained to her, again that I was not looking for sacramental marriage, I knew that that would be the case after he is baptized, but that I was looking to have it convalidated so that I would be in communion with the Church. She said that's not possible. I asked her then what exactly would happen if he WEREN'T in RCIA? I'm not allowed to marry outside of the Church? Nonsense. I don't understand why this woman does not understand the importance of this. Yes, we screwed up and got ourselves into a mess. But we've been trying to fix it for months. WHY.IS.THAT.SO.HARD?

She said she'd call the diocese and get back to me in a bit. What?

Guess who didn't call me back.



  1. That is soooooooooo frustrating! I mean come on! And her telling people that perpetuates those annoying falsehoods. I don't know how many times I've been told by "Catholic" friends that Catholics "can't marry outside the Church." I always ask them if they remember my wedding (I started RCIA the next week).

    Prayers you get this resolved quickly and can find someone at your parish who can help you. Have you thought about going straight to the priest and explaining what's going on.

  2. Good gracious, I married an unbaptized man in the Church! It happens all the time! Dispensation. That's all. Ugh! Sorry for you!!!!

  3. Cammie, I KNOW... and it also helps turn people away from valid or sacramental marriage in the first place. Yes, I'm going to call the priest directly tomorrow. If he fails me I'm going to another parish. Good grief.

    Leila, I know. I don't get it... I'm going to blow a gasket.

  4. That lady is clueless about marriage in the Catholic Church. I hope you can get everything straightened out with your priest!

    1. Seriously. I'm at my wit's end. Last chance tomorrow, lady.


"If you can't say somethin' nice... don't say nothin' at all..." ~Thumper