Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The Weight of the World

Advocating for orphans is HARD. I am trying my best to pray through the roller coaster ride... to to offer up the anxiety for the children suffering, but it. is. so. hard.

Every day it's news of heartbreak. Then news of joy. Then more heartbreak. More worry, more scariness, more urgency. Then more joy. More prayer requests.....

This isn't even going to be a well put together post. I am at the bottom on a hill on the roller coaster and I don't even know why. I think I worked myself up into such a frenzy when Nico got his grant that I am having a hard time recovering. I'm trying to take a breather, but that's also hard.

Not to mention that I want nothing more than to start the adoption process myself and we're stuck in some kind of limbo. I'm tired of being right on the verge of something. I'm tired of struggling. All I want to do is DO SOMETHING. There is an urgency here. There are lives at stake. We are a willing family. We are ready to do the work involved in an adoption. We are open to the struggles that come with therapies and possible surgeries that a child with Down syndrome requires. So, I'm not sure what exactly it is I need to do to get us there. It's killing me.

On top of it all, this is the longest freaking summer ever and the girls and I are going insane because we can't go anywhere very often. We're stir crazy and annoyed with each other.

I'm not looking for advice. Feel free to offer it if you'd like, but I just needed to get this all out on "paper". I know I'll get through it all, because I know that I'm called to advocate for children. It's been my "thing" since before I can remember.

Jesus, I trust in you.


1 comment:

"If you can't say somethin' nice... don't say nothin' at all..." ~Thumper