"Jump off this cliff," says God.
"Sure," you say.
And you scream, freak out, fight, kick, doubt, cry, and scream some more.
He catches you.
I consider myself a devout Catholic. I always believe and follow, even when it hurts. But I am human, and I still doubt Him sometimes. We have been through so much with this adoption, that at times all I wanted was to be told why He was doing this to us and what the purpose was and how He was going to provide. I worked my tail off fundraising and doing paperwork and then found out we could not bring Nico home. And then we found out we were expecting. And then we committed to "Colton". And we did more paperwork and more fundraising. We had some hangups, and I had to push through the nausea and the fatigue to get all of it worked out. Then we found out that summer tickets are double what they are any other time of year. Our fully funded number changed. And we pushed on, but with concern that we would not raise enough in time.
I have seen money fall from Heaven time and time again for other families. I never expected it to happen for us. I figured we would work our fingers to the bone and struggle until the last minute and barely squeak by.
God was lovingly laughing at us from Heaven.
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
That happened to be the reading the day I found out...
Thursday, we announced that we are expecting a little boy in October. Not even an hour after that, I received a phone call saying that "Colton" had been chosen as one of the children to benefit from a dinner and auction someone was hosting in Texas. And, that they had raised ALL of the money we needed to be completely funded. I didn't know about this event, and I don't know these people. This was God at work, through these amazing people.
We do not have to worry about where money will come from to pay for the insanely expensive plane tickets. We do not have to worry about scraping by if there is an emergency. We do not have to worry about things back home while we are gone.
And we never did. Some day I will learn not to worry. I say that all the time. But, some day I hope to learn to trust. Because He does provide, and will, if you jump.
Thank you to all of you who have not only donated, but worked, HARD for us, praying, spreading the word, being emotional support, all of it was an essential part to bringing our boy home.
For all the miracles, thank you Jesus.
Thank you, Blessed Mother Teresa, for praying for us through all of this.
Thank you, Blessed John Paul II, for praying for us.
Thank you, body of Christ here on earth, for being the hands and feet of Jesus and helping us bring this boy home.
Only good things ahead.
Immensely blessed and unworthy of it all.