It's also been quite the emotional roller coaster. Nico is what made us start the adoption process. The messages from God told us it was time to act. He will be my son in my heart forever, whether he ever gets to come home or not.
I am grateful that there are missionaries that take pictures of him every few months. His last pictures were in March so I wasn't expecting any until September or so. But I checked this week and there he was, perfect as ever.
I am thankful he is outside, that he looks healthy and happy, and that even though it breaks my heart, I can see his photos.
Right after the ban hit, we found out we were expecting another little boy. He's the only one I am able to actually keep safe until he is here with us. 10 more weeks or so, and we'll have our beautiful Samuel.
Right after we found out about Samuel, we decided we had to move on with our adoption and continue. There are too many suffering children in the world to give up, and we had nothing to fight for in regards to Nico, so we began the process for "Colton." (I can't use his birth name publicly until after we have court.)
I will admit that it has been hard to open my heart to another child when my heart is broken for Nico. I have a wall up that will not let me get too attached to Colton, and that makes me sad in a way, but I also realize that if my heart needs protection, it's for the best. We should travel in November, and hopefully be home without a hitch 6 weeks later. I pray that this sweet boy will be able to accept love. That The Lord will prepare his heart and ours and that we will have a good transition.
I pray for the health and safety of all three of my boys. And I pray for my family, that we can give all of these precious babies we've been blessed with exactly what they need to grow up to be beautiful people of God.