Thursday, September 12, 2013

1 Year Ago...

Our sweet Nico went on the MFFM page on Reece's Rainbow's website.

I was a ball of stress and excitement. Were we really doing this? Were we really starting the process of bringing our son home?

We had our first homestudy meeting on the 23rd and the next day we were on the New Commitments page.

Again, was this really happening? And did everyone really know about it now?

Yes, it was happening. And we plugged away at paperwork and fundraising.

That same week, we got new pictures. It was perfect timing. To see our boy when we had just made it official was so awesome.

My heart ached to hold my sweet boy, stuck across the ocean alone. But I thought I'd be there soon, so I worked and worked and worked and we waited and waited.

Until that fateful day the week of Christmas that I will never forget; Russia banned the US from adopting from their country. Surely it can't be true? God told us he was ours. We were doing this for him!

But, it was true... and we waited. And things got worse, and my heart broke more every day for the boy we might never be able to bring home. 

In March, when there was no hope left, we decided not to let our hard work go to waste, and we committed to another little boy, around the same age as Nico, but in another country. And as we were working on our new paperwork that week, we got new pictures of Nico.

It hurt so badly, but it was so good to see him smile. 

It's amazing how much can happen in one year. We should have had this sweet boy home already. Instead, we are expecting our first biological boy, and will travel to adopt another boy soon after he's born. 2 boys, neither one are Nico, and our hearts can't grasp "why?" But we are blessed, even through the pain.

We will love you forever, our baby. If it ever becomes possible to run to you, we will. We pray for you and consider you part of our family, no matter what others think about that, you have no one else, and we love you.


  1. Oh Mama. . .I pray that God delivers all the love you have for Nico to him. I pray that it sustains Nico and that he somehow knows your love! Hugs to you and I will continue praying for Nico!

  2. Oh, my heart just breaks with this story, Kara. At least he has you praying hard for him and loving him. It surely makes a difference. Hugs.


"If you can't say somethin' nice... don't say nothin' at all..." ~Thumper