I consider myself fairly intelligent. Not super smart or anything, I'm under-educated, under-read, and under-traveled, but still, I think I have pretty good brain power most of the time...
Until I unofficially started the adoption process.
Let me tell you something... if you think "mommy brain" or "pregnancy brain" is bad, just wait. Start an adoption. I swear to you, I can't think, AT ALL. I feel paralyzed.
What is getting to me so much is that I have spoken with 2 social workers and they say completely opposite things. One of them says move before we start the homestudy. One says start the homestudy now and she'll update our homestudy for free. One of them says as long as we have enough beds for the kids, it's fine. The other says it's inappropriate for baby boys to be in the same room as baby girls... One of them costs $1700. The other costs $975.
Then, it's trying to figure out how I get the little love we want to adopt on MFFM. Is it after payment to the homestudy agency? Before? I can't seem to get an answer out of anyone.
Oh, then it's figuring out the money aspect of it all. Once we're on RR's site, we'll be fine to hold fundraisers and I'll work my fingers to the bone to bring him home once it's official. But I am kind of stuck right now with what to do. I don't want to announce to family what our plans are until it's official, but then it's also hard to do anything feeling like I'm sneaking around.
BUT, there is good news. On a whim, I wrote an email to the Sharing Down Syndrome Arizona organization asking them if they had any ideas on how to raise these beginning costs. I made sure to tell them I was NOT asking THEM to donate, just that I thought they would be good at this type of thing, since they were used to advocating.
Well, she wrote me back and said that she'd love to post a picture of our family with a little story and that she just knew that the local supporters would love to help me out. This also means that now I will have a way for people to donate towards adoption start up costs (they run about $12k before we'd have access to the RR grant) that is tax deductible! This is HUGE, you guys. HUGE. She also emailed my email out to a bunch of local advocates and we already had a donation! From a complete stranger!! Now, I have NO clue how much it's for, but that doesn't matter. I am so taken aback by these wonderful people.
So, there it is. We are officially unofficial. Nothing has happened other than I've made a bazillion phone calls, printed out a bazillion papers, written a bazillion emails, and cried. A lot. I will update more as this unfolds.
Mother Teresa, pray for us!!
We have decided to stay here, go with the cheaper social worker, and bring this boy home! Bring on the paperwork! (After the holiday weekend, that is. lol)